uh oh, spaghetti o's!
by SasuSaku Forever and Ever
Summary: Apparently, Naruto thinks it's funny to poke needle sized holes in his roommate's condoms.


**dedicated to: **veroxion. ilher. so, so much. she's an awesome writer and it's her BIRTHDAY. ILY.  
**prompt: **shocking behavior on fox reality.  
**rating: **M

**summary: **Apparently, Naruto thought it was funny to poke needle-sized holes in his roommate's condoms. //SasuSaku//

* * *

**u**_h _o**h**_, _s**p**_a_g**h**_e_t**t**_i_-**o**_'_s**!**

**-**

Naruto nearly pulled his hair out, his eyes bloodshot.

"Damnit, where _is _it?!"

He searched his whole room, scanning the floor covered with clothes, ramen cups, textbooks, and Hinata's panties.

He dug through the pile of laundry (making sure to pocket each panty to return), and did not find his item.

Suddenly, he looked up, and his eyebrows furrowed.

"TEME!" he shouted, barging into his best friend's room.

The room was immaculate, shelves closed, floor clean, dust gone, and everything nice and neat, except the bed, for which he and his fiancee had made love on the last few nights.

Of course, Naruto did not care about this.

"Right, he's out on a date...that bastard," Naruto muttered.

He went through each of Sasuke's shelves, ruining the hours of work it took to keep it the way it was before.

He dug through the sock drawer, the shirt drawer, the pants drawer, and the--rocketship boxers drawer?

Hm.

Interesting.

And then there was a drawer for Sakura, with her lingerie and cosplay and sex toys and whatnot.

He took a bottle of whipped cream and stuffed it down his pants, a bump forming that could be mis-interpreted as something else.

Naruto scavanged the room, until it was as messy as his own.

"Hmph. That teme probably took it with him!" Naruto said.

And then he opened the dresser drawer.

_Condoms_.

Naruto made sure no one was watching, and snickered mischievously as he used one of Sakura's acupuncture needles to poke miscellaneous holes all over one condom.

And then another.

And then _another_.

And it continued until they were all covered with holes the naked eye could not see.

He put them all back, carefully, as if they hadn't been touched. Naruto laughed with his head thrown back, and threw his hands up in the air.

"All the single ladies, put your hands up!" Naruto sang, shaking his hips.

The needle was somewhere under the pile of clothing.

-

-

-

"You know I love you, Sasuke-kun. Why do you keep asking me?" Sakura said, his hand on hers as they looked at each other from over their dinner table.

"I want to make sure."

She laughed.

"Rest assured, Sasuke-kun. Do you love me?" she asked, her cheeks showing small dimples.

He _smiled,_ and grabbed her pale hand while kissing it, then each digit, stopping on the one where his ring was placed on hers.

"Of course."

She laughed, blushing while she intertwined his hand with hers.

"I can't wait for tonight," he whispered huskily in her ear, his breath uneven.

Her eyes widened, and she could feel the bump against her as he pressed their bodies together.

They paid the check and left.

-

-

-

"I guess I lost it," Naruto sighed in frustration as he sat on his bed.

Hinata stroked his hair.

"It's okay, Naruto-kun. I can buy you a new one," she said.

"It won't be the same. But thanks anyway, Hinata-chan," he said, giving her a fake grin.

She fell on top of him, purposely.

"I know how to cheer you up," she giggled, a blush forming.

"What? How--Agh, Hinata-chan, that tickles!" he laughed while she licked the nape of his neck.

Their clothes were thrown casually on the floor, never to be found.

Again.

At least until Naruto freakin' cleaned his place _up_.

-

-

-

Three steps out of the restaurant, Sasuke pushed Sakura to the wall while he kissed her passionately.

She grabbed onto his tie and mumbled against the kiss. He pinned her arms to the wall, and she placed a hand on his neck and the other in his hair.

His hands moved down to her red dress, and rested on her hips, wrapping themselves around her waist and pulling her close.

"Save it for the bedroom, Sasuke-kun," she moaned, her head thrown back as he left lovemarks on her shoulder.

"I can't wait," he muttered. His hand fiddled with the back of her dress.

"S-Stop. Wait, not here, not now," she said, her tongue dancing with his.

He frowned, and _actually lost the argument_.

"Fine."

-

-

-

Hinata lied on top of Naruto while they breathed heavily. She smiled, kissed his forehead, and looked into his cerulean eyes.

"Y-You used protection, right?" Hinata's face turned bright red at the word "protection."

"Of course I did."

Hinata smiled.

"I wouldn't have mind if you didn't. Because this time, it felt different. Better, in my opinion."

She rolled off him.

"I'm going to take a shower, Naruto-kun. Do you want me to set up the bubble bath with Mr. Quackers?"

"Yeah!" Naruto shouted, clapping his hands together.

As he stared at her round ass, he began to feel an erection.

And as he rubbed up and down against it, he noticed something.

_"Y-You used protection, right?"_

_"Of course I did."_

"Not," Naruto gulped. He stared after Hinata.

"Hinata, wait--Hinata-chan!"

Naruto tripped over his bed and the clothes and landed face first into an old ramen cup, swarmed with cockroaches.

Uh, oh! Spaghetti-o's! his mind sang.

-

-

-

They were in such a moment of passion that neither noticed everything ruined. All they thought about was each other, and Sasuke carefully placed Sakura on the bed, his lips never leaving hers.

He opened the dresser which held his condoms.

He ripped off his clothing, then hers, and placed the rubber on his upright member.

"S-Sasuke-kun," she moaned, her nipples erect from the cold temperature.

"Shh. Don't talk. Speak with your actions," he whispered, a finger to her lips while he kissed her forehead gently.

"B-But," she moaned as his tongue licked her clit, sucking tenderly.

He snuggled into her.

"I love you, you know."

Their thoughts washed away when he slowly went inside her, making the two lovers one being.

-

-

-

It was dawn, and Sakura hugged Sasuke's waist while he held her tight.

6:00 AM.

The clock beeped repeatedly as he groaned and stretched an arm out to turn it off.

"Wake up, love," Sasuke whispered, stroking her hair.

"Mm," she muttered, rubbing her eyes. "Five more minutes."

He let her rest her head on his bare chest, while he replayed their best lovemaking yet.

But after the whole thing was done, he cummed while she was reaching her orgasm, and then--

Then, he threw away the condom.

But it felt...different?

He scanned the room, and noticed the whole thing was a wreck.

"Naruto," Sasuke muttered, ready to pull out his trusty rocketship boxers and zoom towards his best friend's room.

"Fuck," he mumbled, cursing as soft as possible as to not wake Sakura up.

Something poked his foot, and he checked it.

A...needle?

Sakura never leaves her acupuncture needles out, Sasuke thought. Or the room.

And then he put two and two together.

"_Naruto_," Sasuke growled, ready to kill him, not only for wrecking his room, but for also...for that dumb, retarded prank!

-

-

-

"DOBE!" Sasuke shouted, banging on Naruto's door.

"Scrubba-dub-dub, scrubba-dub-dub," Naruto sang through the bathroom door.

Hinata left the bathroom, Naruto's orange T-shirt on her while she wore some of his shorts.

"Oh, hi, Uchiha-san."

"I need to see Naruto," he said, pushing past her to the naked Naruto in the bathtub playing with Mr. Quackers.

"What are you--hey, teme! What's up? You're early, and I'm just--"

Naruto could not finish his sentence, because the apartment was filled with screams, yells, "Don't hurt me, teme!", and others.

Silly Naruto.

"Die, dobe!" Sasuke snarled, holding a Super Mario Mallet while chasing after a Naruto in a birthday suit.

-

-

-

It was nearly 10:00 AM when Sakura woke up.

Sasuke plopped down onto bed when Sakura hugged him, kissing his abs.

"Where've you been?" she pouted.

He sighed. "Sorry, love."

She dug her chest into him.

It was silent, except for his heavy breathing.

"Sakura?"

She looked up.

"Hm?"

Sasuke didn't know how to put this.

"Uhm, do you--er, do you keep track of your...cycle?" he asked.

"What're you trying to imply?"

Oh no.

The bomb.

"Sakura, would you like to continue the clan earlier than planned?"

She thought for a moment, processing the words.

"Of course, you dummy! I've been trying to tell you since Day 1, Kami, Sasuke-kun!" she sighed, lying back on the pillow.

"Your wish is granted," Sasuke muttered, before placing his head between Sakura's breasts and hugging her waist, wanting her to play with his hair.

-

**Two Weeks Later.**

-

Sure, Neji knew his cousin was dating Naruto. And sure, they could exchange kisses, hold hands, show PDA...at least, not in front of him.

And sex?

He'd gotten used to that. Kind of. Sort of.

Okay, not really.

But he knew they had sex. As long as they used protection.

Neji sighed, and knocked on Naruto's door.

Out came Naruto, still beaten and bruised from the past fortnight's incident, an old ramen cup on his head as a hat.

"Where's Hinata?" Neji asked. "I need to give her my Chemistry notes."

"I'll give them to her."

"No, I will. Where is she?"

There was a high-pitched squeal from the bathroom.

"Naruto-kun! Naruto-kun! Look! I'm so happy, the line's blue! I'm pregnant with your child! Naruto-kun, this is the happiest day of my life!" Hinata squealed, jumping up and down, clutching the test to her chest.

"You got my cousin _pregnant_?" Neji snarled, his face turning red and the veins popping.

"I--no, I didn't, it must've been some other guy--" Naruto stuttered.

And the whole beat-up started.

All.

Over.

Again.

* * *

**bday fic 4 veroxoin. ilysooooo much.**

**this was crap cuz i made it in 10 min. i'm sowwys. Dx i had no idea but ik i wanted to do this story lol...ever since i saw it. yesterday.**

**i love you! happy bday!**


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